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MrT

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Everything posted by MrT

  1. MrT

    CCleaner 2.0

    You really should use NCleaner. The main purpose i use it is to clean IE temp files... i mean it does the job...
  2. try this PC INSPECTORâ„¢ File Recovery
  3. MrT

    CCleaner 2.0

    i already updated my version to 2.0
  4. - 1 - try right click the drive icon for your CD drive and select Properties. from there choose the AutoPlay tab, and choose the action for each type of CD. - 2 - for TweakUI expand the My Computer branch, then the AutoPlay branch, and then select both Drives and Types. - 3 - REGEDIT.EXE navigate to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Services\Cdrom. double-click the Autorun value, and type 1 for its value.
  5. I signed up too :hello:
  6. MrT

    Training~

    An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation. Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison. Love, Dad ........ Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4a.m. The next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here." ******** Moral Of the Story NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN.......
  7. MrT

    Affairs

    The 1st Affair: A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf .. again !!!!" ------------ ------------------------------------------------------------- The 2nd Affair: A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "! Not this time!" ------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------ The 3rd Affair: A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must! be saved for posterity." So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. "I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. "My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!" ------------ ---------------------------------------------------------------- The 4th Affair: A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue." "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing." ------------ ----------------------------------------------------------------- The 5th Affair: A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man thought. He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied. "A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here." ------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------- The 6th Affair: Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess." "There's no need to," his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!" "I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
  8. MrT

    Marriage

    John: it's my wife's birthday Peter: what's your gift to her? John: i asked her what she wanted Peter: what did she said? John: anything, as long a there is a DIAMOND. Peter: what did you gave her? John: playing cards
  9. interesting... :hello:
  10. MrT

    Training~

    A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet. "Madam , if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this S...!" exclaimed the eager salesman. "Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady. The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam? " "There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady MORAL: Gather All resources be4 working on any project...!! !
  11. MrT

    Marriage

    One Sunday morning, William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, William's dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She's a wonderful wife but she has not offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half-sister too, William. I'm awfully sorry about this." William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister." His mother just shook her head. "Don't pay any attention to what he says, You can marry those girls, dear. He's not really your father."
  12. MrT

    Training~

    A newly-joined chemist asks his boss' What is the meaning of appraisal ? ' Boss : ' Do you know the meaning of resignation ? ' Chemist : ' Yes, I do. ' Boss : ' So let me make you understand what an appraisal is by comparing it with resignation. ' In an appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures. In a resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success. During an appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even a 5% pay hike. In a resignation meeting you can easily demand ( or get more without asking ) more than 50-60% pay-hike ! During an appraisal, they will deny promotion saying that you did not meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and that you had several drawbacks in reaching objective/goal. During resignation, they'll say you are the core member of the team; that you are the vision of the company, and so ' How can you go ? you have to take the project on your shoulders and lead your juniors to success. There is a 90% chance of not getting any significant incentives after appraisal. There is a 90% chance of getting an immediate pay-hike after you put in your resignation. Chemist :' Yes, boss, good enough. Now I know what to do. When you are about to do my appraisal, I will resign.
  13. MrT

    Training~

    Japanese man was in a hurry to go to the KLIA airport, so he took a Proton taxi. The taxi driver took his sweet time driving within the speed limit but the Jap was getting impatient. The following is their conversation on the way to the airport .A Toyota Camry overtook the taxi.....zoom.... Jap: Look ...look ...Toyota!! ...very fast!!!.... made in Japan! Proton...no good.... made in Malaysia. Driver: yah.... After a few minutes a Nissan overtook the taxi....zoom. Jap: look.... look.... Nissan!!!..... very good!! very fast! made in Japan! Proton.... no good.... made in Malaysia Driver: yah....yah...After a few minutes a Honda overtook the taxi...zooom. ! Jap: look.... look... Honda!!.... very GOOD!!....very fast!!....madein Japan! Proton...no good...made in Malaysia Driver: yah...yah...yah....! Arriving at the airport,the Jap is about to pay the taxi driver. Jap: How much? Driver: RM150/- Jap: Oh... very expensive..... you overcharge ! ! Driver: Noooo .... look .... look .... Sony meter!!....very good!!....very fast!.... Made in Japan!
  14. MrT

    Training~

    A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk." Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead." Man: "What covers a house?" Dog: "Roof!" Man: "How does sandpaper feel?" Dog: "Rough!" Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?" Dog: "Ruth!" Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk." The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
  15. MrT

    Training~

    Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!" Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts. As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!" To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!!!"
  16. MrT

    Training~

    I was born intelligent - education ruined me. .................................................. ....................... Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice? .................................................. ...................... If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? .................................................. ....................... Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. .................................................. ....................... How come "abbreviated" is such a long word? .................................................. ....................... Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. .................................................. ....................... Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. .................................................. ...................... Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. .................................................. ....................... The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise. ................................ ......................................... Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. .................................................. ....................... Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. .................................................. ....................... "Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep .................................................. ....................... There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning .................................................. ....................... "Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk .................................................. ....................... "Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours .................................................. ....................... God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. .................................................. ....................... The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So.. why learn. .................................................. ....................... A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........
  17. MrT

    Training~

    Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
  18. so thats how the UK flag came about..
  19. MrT

    Training~

    An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died. The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said: YOU w***** -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE
  20. MrT

    Training~

    One day, out in the fields, a farmer was taking a break under a tree as he was tired. As he drifted in and out of sleep, he suddenly felt his straw hat being pulled away from his head. He then took a look up the tree and to his suprise, saw a monkey holding his hat. Therefore, the farmer tried in vain to get the monkey to surrender his straw hat back to him. He tried many actions, swinging his arm to the left, swinging his arms to the right. However, none of this convienced the monkey to return him his hat. The farmer then offered the monkey a banana and the monkey happily took it. While the monkey was busy devouring the banana, the farmer quikly took his hat away from the monkey and laughed at it for being so stupid. He insulted the monkey before going back to doing his chores. Years passed, and the old farmer passed down all his skills to his grandson. One day, while farming, the grandson was tired, he took a rest at the very same spot where his grandfather lost his straw hat to a monkey. While resting, a monkey stole the young farmers hat. Hoping to use the skills his grandfather taught him, the young farmer tried all soughts of manouvers in vain. As a last resort, he offered a banana to the monkey. The monkey then took the banana with only one hand while its other was clutching on to the hat tightly. As the young farmer tried to grab the hat away from the monkey, the monkey held on to the hat while it threw the banana back at the young farmer. Shocked, the farmer asked himself why did he failed when his grandfather succeeded. Everything his grandfather thought him had work except for this. Why? Just then, the monkey exclaimed: "Stupid farmer. You have a grandfather, So do I!"
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