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1984

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Posts posted by 1984

  1. i did, and i couldnt find it. it sounds familiar, as if i have seen it before, but i dont know what i am doing wrong. its amazing how dumb someone can be in some areas of life, and excel in others. :(

  2. how do i find that folder? i looked in my C drive and couldnt locate it. As well, for whatever reason, my search under start menu doesnt do anything at all. doesnt even come up. man, i keep getting problems.

  3. DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

    40-ish.............................................49

    Adventurous.................................Slept with everyone

    Athletic..........................................No tits

    Average looking..........................Moooo

    Beautiful.......................................Pathological liar

    Emotionally Secure......................On medication

    Feminist..........................................Fat

    Free spirit....................................Junkie

    Friendship first..........................Former slut

    New-Age....................................Body hair in the wrong places

    Old-fashioned........................! .....No BJs

    Open-minded.................................Desperate

    Outgoing........................................Loud and Embarrassing

    Professional....................................b***h

    Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

    Large frame.................................Hugely Fat

    Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. Yes = No

    2. No = Yes

    3. Maybe = No

    4. We need = I want

    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

    8. Do! what you want = You will pay for this later

    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    MEN'SENGLISH 1. I am hungry = I am hungry

    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

    3. I am tired = I am tired

    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

    5. I love you = Let's have sex now

    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd li! ke to have sex with you

  4. A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,

    "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

  5. we got turkeys from our company for christmas. big chickens really. we used to get a great christmas party as well, but since we got bought 3 years ago from a transnational corp, that came to an end. oh well, i can still get wasted on my own.

  6. my last addy until last november was out in the country-no dsl, cable, etc. i had satellite tv, and dial up internet-blows.

    if i got satellite internet, i also had to pay for dial up internet-dial up to receive the signal, satellite to shoot it up-or vise versa, i cant remember. anyho, it was 50/month for satellite, and 15 for dial up- so i said f it, and sold the acreage and moved into the city. :realmad:

  7. ya dogs are nuts. we used to have three, but down to one now (and the four cats-they live forever!). we had to put our irish setter down this summer. he had cancer and was starting to be in pain so we made the trip. that dog was the dumbest creature i ever saw. but really good natured and great with the kids. and he was such a goof he always made us laugh. one time we put socks on him and let him walk around the house while we videotaped him. he was a riot! i swear he was hamming it up for the camera. :hello:

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