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SenutyEnool

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Everything posted by SenutyEnool

  1. After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a large firecracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The husband said to the doctor, "B'Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem." "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand. This procedure also works in New Zealand and Arkansas. _________________________ Cheers :hello:
  2. Once upon a time, long, long ago there was this woman who surprisingly, was not full of sh * t........ But this was a long time ago..... and it was just ONE day! !!! The End ____________________________ Cheers :hello:
  3. If it's hiding legit items, wouldn't it also hide this O4 - HKLM\..\Run: [Windows Defender] "C:\Program Files\Windows Defender\MSASCui.exe" -hide ? Not trying to be a smart arse, but trying to understand how and why this program works. Cheers :hello:
  4. 1 gig for me. Cheers :hello:
  5. ****! Going to have to try and disguise it more....... Cheers :hello:
  6. This more your bio? Cheers :hello:
  7. All I can say is...... Who told?...... Cheers :hello:
  8. Ahhh. Now that you point out the obvious, I see it. Did you also notice that the second log also missed something? If you look at the O20 lines, there is now only the one pointing to the trojan and the entry for O20 - Winlogon Notify: WgaLogon - C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\WgaLogon.dll is missing. Is this normal? Cheers :hello:
  9. And I do hope that you realise that the above was also not real, well partially. I am a cat owner (we have 4 of the furry children) but I DO NOT find it offensive, I actually agree with Tarun and found it very funny. Cheers :hello:
  10. Ermmmm, difference was?........ I don't get the point you're trying to bring across. Don't forget, I'm an old fart and miss seeing some things......... (like the hand in front of my face ) Cheers :nyah:
  11. Hmmm, funny doesn't spring to mind. In fact, being a cat owner, I find it offensive. Cheers :hello:
  12. Nice photoshopped picture Cheers :hello:
  13. **** shame your half-way round the globe. I've got a 17" and 19" flatscreen sitting around doing nothing (both our system's now have 24" monitors) and if you were closer it'd only cost you postage. Maybe someone in your neck of the woods can help out? Cheers :hello:
  14. Four men were sitting around a conference room table being interviewed for a job. The interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" The first man replied "A thought. It pops into your head, there's no forewarning that it's on the way, it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of. "That's very good" replied the interviewer. "And now you, sir," he asked the second man. "Hmmm, let me see..... a blink!," said the second man. "It comes and goes and you don't know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye" That's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out on my dad's property, you step out of the house and on the wall there is a light switch. When you flip that switch, way across the paddock the light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light", he said. Turning to the fourth man, an Australian, he posed the same question. "After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me the fastest thing known is diarrhoea", said the Aussie. "What!" said the interviewer, stunned by the response? "Oh, I can explain", said the Aussie, "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could, think, blink, or turn on the light, I s*** my pants." He got the job.............
  15. Go with what Capman recommeded and go to Crucial Scan. If you're like me, you won't have a manual and therefore can't consult it. With Crucial, it'll scan your system and recommend what you should/could get. Cheers :hello:
  16. Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of shame were overwhelming. But every now and then he'd hear an internal reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality. Whispering...... Dave....... Dave........ Dave........ ........YOU'RE A VET!!!!!! __________________________________ Cheers :nyah:
  17. There are some dumb people out there, who ask some very dumb questions!! I have three dogs and I was buying a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and standing in line at the check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 20 kilos before I woke up in intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door. Stupid b***h... why else would I buy dog food?? _________________________ Cheers :hello:
  18. :hello: G'day, nice to have you onboard. Cheers :nyah:
  19. I had MS2007Pro Beta loaded (eval time elapsed on the weekend). Outlook 2007 was just as slow. Overall the 'face' lift is a waste of time because till you become familiar with it, it's a lot of clicking and searching to get the menu item you want, this goes for all office products. Functionality has increased somewhat with the different applications but are not war stoppers. If you have MS2003 Office... stick with it as files are cross compatible, I won't be rushing out to buy 2007 Office for the minor (IMO) enhancements, it's a bit like XP or Vista? If it ain't broke, don't fix it! Cheers :hello:
  20. As others have pointed out, steer away from P2P programs/sites if possible. Even though the P2P program MAY be free of malware, the majority of the files you get are not. You stated that you actually use torrent, why not stick with it. I've been using uTorrent (like you have) after previously having used KazaaLite and have found the download speeds are markedly increased in the majority of cases. My thoughts - stick with uTorrent. Cheers :hello:
  21. It's okay all you FF gurus........ figured it out myself No-one suggested reloading it under a different directory, did they? Guess what??? Works fine..... Sooooooooooo, if you need help with FF, don't ask THEM, ask me, I know......... Cheers :nyah:
  22. Okay, used a new profile, no extensions and ....... nada. Time to scrap FF? Cheers :hello:
  23. Did as suggested, removed Tab Browser Prefs, removed theme, loaded in 'Safe Mode' and ......... Nada. Scoured the forums/knowledge bases and found nix, time to remove FF me thinks unless someone can suggest a possible solution. Cheers :hello:
  24. MS Outlook.......... in a nutshell, watching grass grow is more enjoyable and FASTER than waiting for Outlook to load. On average Outlook2003 takes over 15+ seconds to load, then approx another 5-10 before it starts its TX/RX routine. After having used it for over 4 months the main load time is due to also loading the notes, tasks, calendar and other ancillary crap which you can't turn off. I've changed to TB which is miles ahead in load speed, however, I would REALLY like to see a calendar with it, would save on loading another program just to check what's happening on my calendar. Cheers :hello:
  25. Ermmmm, mind throwing in a link for the masses so that we know exactly where we are looking? The Confused :hello:
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