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SenutyEnool

Set 'Em Up Barkeep

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The following are new public health warnings for beer packages.

 

WARNING

The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

 

WARNING

The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

 

WARNING.

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

 

WARNING

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

 

WARNING.

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

 

WARNING.

The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

 

WARNING.

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

 

WARNING

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

 

WARNING

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

 

 

Some of the great minds of western civilisation expound their theories on the positive power of beer, as if you needed any proof.

 

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work, and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself , "it is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and and worry about my liver.(Jack Handy)

 

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day"  (Frank Sinatra)

 

"When I read about the evils of drinking,I gave up reading" (Henny Youngman)

 

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with a pizza"

(Dave Barry)

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Cheers and have one on me :hello:

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