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Christmas story


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A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was p***ed.

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.

I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my a** for **** near a year,

Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better

Those as****** from the IRS sent me a letter,

They say I owe taxes--if that ain't **** funny

Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits

They want the impossible--Those mean little s***s

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds

Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads

I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,

They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees

Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees

I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment

I'll sit on my fat a** and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,

I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

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