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too drunk


Sniper

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Two buddies, Bob and Larry, were getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly

Larry throws up all over himself.

"Oh, no... Now my wife will kill me!"

Bob says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and

tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars

for the dry cleaning bill."

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually Larry stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time.

"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're

disgusting!"

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Larry says,

"Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha yew think. I only

had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too

many! And he juss koudin hold hizz liquor. He said hes was verrry sorry

an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bi ll!"

His wife looks in the breast pocket and sa ys, "But this is forty bucks.."

"Oh, yeah.. I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too."

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