Military Alert Levels

As many are aware, the French government recently announced a rise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and Collaborate". A recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability precipitated the rise.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations"

and "Change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.

The Australians thought about doing something but have decided that their security level of "She'll be right mate" is enough.

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Cheers :D

US Military terms:

SNAFU………..Situation Normal All F--ked Up

FUBAR………..F--ked Up Beyond All Recognition

JANFU………Joint Army Navy F--k Up

LOL! Those military alert levels are great! Not to be stereotypical, but they match the countries percectly :D