Jump to content

Bastar.... errr..... Standardising English

Recommended Posts

We should all be aware of the following moves to harmonise  the language:

The European commission has just announced an agreement  whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than  German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded  that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year  phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" (or preferably, "SI  English").

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,  this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in  favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less  letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the  troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf  20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be  expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters  which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in  the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as  replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords  containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. 

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it  ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey  vunted in ze forst plas.


Tchears :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...