The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I

make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my

strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the

carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into

their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the

duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to

the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was

walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is

regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my

every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...

I knew I saw something similar. Still funny though.

Great post!

Very amusing.

I have a cat, and I love her, she is very cute. =^_^=

One time, I was watching TV at the night in the living room, so it was very dark, and when I turned off the TV to talk to my room, it was like very very dark, so I couldn't see anything, and as I was walking towards my room, suddenly the cat runs into me and tackles me legs so I almost dropped to the floor, heh.

Great post!

Very amusing.

I have a cat, and I love her, she is very cute. =^_^=

One time, I was watching TV at the night in the living room, so it was very dark, and when I turned off the TV to talk to my room, it was like very very dark, so I couldn't see anything, and as I was walking towards my room, suddenly the cat runs into me and tackles me legs so I almost dropped to the floor, heh.

Lucky you weren't at the top of the stairs. :cake:

Lucky you weren't at the top of the stairs.

Yes, that could have ended bad.

Luckily, have no stairs. :cry:

Lucky you weren't at the top of the stairs.

Yes, that could have ended bad.

Luckily, have no stairs.

I'm hereby offering to build some, free of charge, anything to help your cat.....

OMFG!

I sense world war 3.