TexasFilly Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 This one is a stupid blonde joke... A blonde gal just got hired as a quality control manager in the M&M factory. Two weeks later she got fired for throwing away all the W's.... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> LOL where is sniper and his Joke a meter? LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasFilly Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 "One Blonde To Another" _________________________________________________________________ A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde". She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Proof Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 figures Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasFilly Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Q..Why are blonde jokes so short? A.So men can remember them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasFilly Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capman Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Why does she keep winking? Was she kneeling in front of a guy and something shot in her eye? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Proof Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The first says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!" The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17000 on a new car", he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" The third, a blonde male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "I have to laugh when I think about it", he chuckles. "Last week my wife left on a vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least five boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a penis!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Proof Posted December 17, 2005 Author Share Posted December 17, 2005 A blind man enters a "Ladies Bar" by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair (given that you are blind) that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler. Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and declares, "Nah....Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Proof Posted December 30, 2005 Author Share Posted December 30, 2005 Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1984 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 why did god give blondes one more brain cells than a horse? so they wouldnt s*** during the parade. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Proof Posted January 4, 2006 Author Share Posted January 4, 2006 haha. that one is cold blooded Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1984 Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 haha. that one is cold blooded <{POST_SNAPBACK}> luckily i married a brunette, or i would be so dead! :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish4323 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 A blonde gets in an elevator and sees a man standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir," to which he replies, "S-H-I-T, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice , TGIF stands for 'Thank goodness it's Friday.' The man replies, "s*** stands for 'Sorry honey it's Thursday.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Proof Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish4323 Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 K9 and the Blonde Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman." :shocking: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaphirer Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 A blonde gets in an elevator and sees a man standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir," to which he replies, "S-H-I-T, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice , TGIF stands for 'Thank goodness it's Friday.' The man replies, "s*** stands for 'Sorry honey it's Thursday.' <{POST_SNAPBACK}> hehe I like that one :shocking: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish4323 Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 A man hires a blonde to paint stripes down a road, but she has to do at least four miles each day. The first day, the blonde does 8 miles. The boss is extremely impressed. The second day the blonde does 4 miles. The boss is somewhat impressed, but not as much as before. The third day, the blonde does two miles. The boss thinks she is just having a bad day, so he still lets her keep the job. The fourth day, the blonde only does 1 mile. The boss asks, "You were doing so well before. What happened?!" The blonde replies, "I can't get far because each day I'm getting further and further away from the bucket." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Proof Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Tarun Posted February 24, 2006 Administrator Share Posted February 24, 2006 Blonde Joke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Proof Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 LMAO..thats the best one yet!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish4323 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Hahahaha, I agree with you :cry: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Proof Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 Hmmm...it seems SC cant figure it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniper Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE. Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE. The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE. She stopped, looked skyward, and said, IS THAT YOU LORD? The voice replied, NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish4323 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. Impossible!" says the doctor "Show me." The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?" "Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrT Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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