Comedy Club

dumb cat

Sometimes it wont load when you first go to the page, you may have to refresh it. jingle farts

jingleshells

jingle bells

>> TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find >> North America. >> MARIA: Here it is. >> TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who >> discovered America? >> CLASS: Maria. >> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >> TEACHER: Why are you late Frank? >> FRANK: Because of the sign. >> TEACHER: What sign? >> FRANK: The one that says, "School >> ahead. Go slow." >> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >> TE…

You may have to copy and paste the link to get it to play. http://www.rock103.com/pages/crew/listen/m...goingtotown.mp3

Not that I'd know anything about this stuff http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/full/ap/...60/graphic1.swf

Not much of a game, but each time you give Bush a brain, you get to hear one of his most moronic sound bites: http://www.imgag.com/product/full/ap/3067907/graphic1.swf :cuddle:

uhm... yea i think this would be the gadget that would get me into bluetooth hackin... just imagine driving through a populated city like new york broadcasting a signal that sets off everyone of these things... would have the ladies all over me may not be work safe depending on how strict your workplace is... http://us.gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/blue...dies-133325.php

Santa will turn up despite the facts here! Santa has to deliver to 378m children and, accepting a family average of 3.5, this means 108m home visits. He has about 31 hours to get this done, because of the different time zones, which works out at 967.7 visits per second. "This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house," says the assesment. The total trip will be 75m miles, …

just a BIG ROFL on this article... LOL!

WARNING: naughty language britney spears

Yesterday I took my grandaughter to the theatre to see a pantomime..., and I wondered if you have the same tradition in the US. In pantos over here, ( which are only at Xmas ) the leading man is always played by a lady!

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the dif…

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: 40-ish.............................................49 Adventurous.................................Slept with everyone Athletic..........................................No tits Average looking..........................Moooo Beautiful.......................................Pathological liar Emotionally Secure......................On medication Feminist..........................................Fat Free spirit....................................Junkie Friendship first..........................Former slut New-Age....................................Body hair in the wrong places …

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. .. Enjoy! P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.…

A woman, in her fifties, is at home happily jumping unclothed on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you? The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram, and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year-old. The husband replies, "What did he say about your 55-year old a**?" "Your name never came up," she replied.

I need some for my hot dog.

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

Tarun is this gonna use too much space if we do this?

December 1st TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty Lewis Human Resources Director ------------------------------------------------------------------------ December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES In no way was yesterday's memo intende…

No offence meant to anybody! Security Alert As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides". …

Ozzy Fudd mp3. Kill the Wabbit

1. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... -- Sir Norman Wisdom 2. One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money. -- Edgar Watson Howe 3. A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! -- Doug Larson 4. A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie! -- Eric Bolton 5. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Erno Philips 6. I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. -- Rob…

The ULTIMATE in Women's Body Piercing ... Men all over the country are urging their wives and sweethearts to get this 'chic' procedure. The going rate on the east coast now exceeds five digits