Comedy Club

* You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. * You answer the door before people knock. * You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. * You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. * You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. * Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. * You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. * You walk twenty miles on the treadmill before realizing it's not plugged in. * You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. * You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee. * You have a picture of your coffee mug on your cof…

The following are new public health warnings for beer packages. WARNING The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. WARNING The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING. The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you. WARNING The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING. The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. WARNING. The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. WARNING. The consumption of alcohol may…

we all know the best commercials on T.V. are those that play during the football... luckily google is there to help us once again... http://video.google.com/superbowl.html enjoy Oh and btw... my favorite Commercial is the Burger Kings one... 5th down on the left... that looks like one hell of a TASTY burger! kinda wonderin what godaddy was thinkin making those commercials.. of course they were gonna deny those lol. oh well. bet they had fun making them.. especially the car wash one XP

Here is a site with a lot of good little games to play on. http://games.andymanchesta.com/

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 10 years and 45 lbs What's the difference between a boyfrien…

1.) FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites 2.) FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. 3.) FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog 4.) FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. 5.) FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat .. been out awhile. Better be a reward. 6.) COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED...Also 1 gay bull for sale. 7.) NORDIC TRACK: $300 hardly used, call Chubby 8.) GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb. 9.) JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300 10.) WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie AND THE BEST ONE... 1…

This is great and takes a lot of skill towards the end so keep a steady hand. Apparently only 1 in 10 people are able to finish it. Maze

some old pictures, some i've never seen before. enjoy. Diffrence Between Europe and America... anyone wanna go to europe with me? I know some of you have kids, so put them to use.... Last but not least, how do you transfer your cat?? why.. you use the Cat Carrier none the less!

Watch it here

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous blonde eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air. "Oh my goodness, I am sooo sorry," the woman says, as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you." They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to breakfast the next morning. When he arrives…

these are two unrelated stories put together but it's pretty good Revenge

A women gets on a bus and goes to put money into the change holder. The bus driver says to her" Thats the ugliest baby i have ever seen!". The women is indignant, but doesnt say anything as she needs to stay on the bus to get to her destination. She sits down next to an elderly gentleman. She is in a huff, and the elderly man asks her" what is the matter"? She explains to him the rude behaviour of the bus driver. He says to her" You should go tell him how you feel about that". She agrees and says" I am going to do that right now". The elderly gentleman says" Here, let me hold your pet monkey while you get up".

This is amazing. its a complete time waster but is so much fun, check it out http://www.lunchtimers.com/games/letters/ Tarun, is there anyway you could go to the goodie section and use their code to add a refridgerator to lunarsoft? like add a little subpage so we can have some fun (under the Lunarsoft Menu on the main page)?

Two rednecks, Tom and Ryan, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Tom, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Ryan, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Tom," Ryan said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?", asked Tom. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Ryan. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," …

A man goes into a sex shop and ask to buy an inflatable doll. Sales clerk: “ Sure thing. Male or female?” Customer: :“Female.” Sales clerk: “White or black?” Customer: “White.” Sales clerk: “Christian or Muslim?” Shocked, the customer ask, “What the hell does religion have to do with inflatable dolls?” Sales clerk: “Well……the Muslim doll blows itself up.”

See here for a good reason not to. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2002/11/22/ma...is_with_laptop/

You know you're gonna have a bad day, when you wake up and look outside and see this..............

Another cat? laughing cat I think we need another forum header. We can call it "The Litter Box"......a place to put all the cat s***. :eyeroll:

Drunk Santa http://www.banditos.info/speles/sobersanta2.swf Smack the Penguin https://www.crazygames.com/game/yeti-sports | n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf (Dead link)

angry gamer

ring my bell

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?” Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream “Oh Henry, Oh Henry!” Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and …

Anybody see a theme developing here? cat wash

My husband got a car windscreen cover, special coating on top and special lining underneath. It rained Boxing Day and then started to freeze, he put the cover on. Next morning we go out to set off to some relatives, but the cover seemed to be welded to the car. He pulled hard, then ripped hard. Result... we had to drive with the car covered in a white furry coating which floated off as we made our journey.

This one is from a short-lived Ford commercial in the UK. p***ed off a lot of animal rights twerps. Here kitty